A little give, A little take!!

The key mechanism of any relationship lies in ‘a little give, a little take’.

Parent-child bond, bonds through marriage or a professional tie, all are signified while accomplishing the potential only by two-way traffic, ‘A little give, A little take’. 

A time bomb named as ‘relationship’ comprising cogs, namely, ‘providing and receiving’ operate in absolute sync consuming essential components like love, loyalty, trust, respect, communication, etc as the lubricant to avoid friction. If at all, any imbalance in the two cogs occurs, the mishap generally is followed by the glitch in the time bomb emanating catastrophes.

21st-century bondings have no common grounds with the ties and bonds shared back in the olden days. Families, friends and acquaintances stuck together for ages, then. 

Presently, any family connection or social affiliation easily associated to a time bomb, reason being, lack in the balance of giving and taking. Either, it is excess giving & no taking or, excess taking & no giving, in any case, bringing the connection ties’ survival rate to nearly zero. 

The shift in priorities has led to poignant consequences, lately. Willingness to compromise bearing in mind the well-being of the bond or the greater good coming with it has been engulfed in the love of mere commodity and rank.

An integral part of a bond is to compromise. 

However, to compromise is traditionally mistaken for acquiescing consumption of ourselves. Or, when the committed party is overly consumed ensued by his dedication, loyalty, love and priority.

compromise, relationships,give and take,balance in compromising, how much to compromise, what not to compromise, equal efforts, no exploitation of efforts,
A little give, a little take

To compromise:

To gain benefits, giving up on a few is enforced. It is nearly impossible to have all that is desired by one. Which raises the question of, what to compromise on and for what to strive? 

Individual choices, mindsets, desires, tradition, qualification, upbringing and circumstances execute the decision of what to compromise.

Overlooking education for a blissful happily ever after is preferable for some, while sweeping the idea of marriage under the carpet for a successful career might be more convenient for some. Quitting a job for taking care of the households may be the idea of compromising for many, while compelled signup as a breadwinner of the house become the compromise for some. 

The complication has never been ‘the compromise’, but, what is being compromised and how much is being compromised. 

The exploitation of a compromising person excels in assorted setbacks. 

The mishap may be distinct, right from mental breakdowns to breakups, from disloyalty to deception, from animosity to resentment, and many more such ill-consequences. 

What not to compromise:

As we all are compelled to make a compromise, what to compromise on is always in our control. Like things which should never be compromised are your ideas, goals, faith and belief, values, self-respect, dignity, happiness, individuality, integrity and self-worth along with any other facet of life you cannot imagine giving upon. For example: For me, it is my son. Compromising on being with him to get into new ties, is an inconceivable notion for me. 

So, before compromising, be sure of not compromising on the checklist provided above along with the aspect most dear and close to you and your heart.

How much to compromise:

While compromising, be upfront in drawing a line on how much is more and beyond the limit. No matter whoever we are with, the more we let ourselves be consumed, the more we get consumed, there is no upper limit set unless we set it ourselves. 

Serve on middle grounds until you’re at the receiving end as well. If only you’re the one providing, there might be an unpleasant finish. 

For whom to compromise:

  • Who feels just right. Trust your instincts.
  • Who knows your capability and capacity to give and wouldn’t ask for beyond.
  • The one equally providing and bringing his input into the ties, making the bonds stronger. 
  • Who acknowledges your effort and recognises your intentions even if the result turns out as unexpected. 
  • The one who wouldn’t exploit your resources of varied nature in any manner. 
  • Your parents without any conditions. The fact, they bring you into this world equate all your compromises.

For whom to not-compromise:

  • The one who never acknowledges your greatest efforts.
  • For the one, who never have it enough.
  • The ones who step into the bond empty-handed.
  • The one gauges your emotions, feelings through your compromise and degree of submission. 
  • For the one who would perpetually demand more.
  • The one who will stipulate the flow of the relationship based on your compromises and efforts.
  • Anyone who deliberately demands a compromise on your reverence and value. 

Lastly, after a certain point, there should be no scope of regret left. Compromise enough for the ones worth it while keeping your values, dignity and all the above intact, hence, keeping no room for remorse.

Is there anything you would want to add on any of the areas covered in the post? Do let us know in the comments below.

Emotional Sedation!!

Admiration, adoration, appreciation of beauty, amusement, anger, anxiety, awe, awkwardness, boredom, calmness, confusion, craving, disgust, emphatic pain, entrancement, excitement, fear, horror, interest, joy, nostalgia, relief, etc are all various categories of emotions. 

A typical person would experience many of the above emotions in different instances. 

An individual who encounters various emotions and gracefully handles it is taken to be mentally stable along with being aware of himself and his actions. 

The correlation of emotions with feelings is that of height and weight. 

Every emotion has a specific feel along with it. 

Every emotion is a blessing, be it of any kind. 

However, today, I would like to dedicate my post to emotional sedation. Sedative effect on our mental awareness of emotions. 

A traumatic childhood, an unexpected negatively charged extreme event which we were never prepared to face at the given time. It’s a hard blow on our psychological and emotional capacity of dealing with situations. Thus, leading to tinnitus, further resulting in lingering emotional numbness.

Emotional numbness, surprisingly, apart from the above-stated cause, can also be cultural and societal. In many cultures, the emotional state is not given due attention and hence, crying is related to weakness, while anger is looked up for strength. These societies pushing the mental health under the carpet, emphasizes its people on being stoic, rational and emotionally invulnerable. 

Having oneself in these various situations, the preferred road is simple, not to feel any emotions at all. 

The instance can be no better than that of a rape victim. The atrocious episode leaves the victim with a string of loud tinnitus and moving on to emotional numbness. the heinous event concludes in a void of emotions. Unable to feel, express or communicate becomes new configuration in the system of the sufferer. Similarly, severe loss, stress, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), physical and mental abuse, are also few of many causes for sedation of emotions.

When speaking of mental health, emotional numbness is still a secret disease calling out for more attention. large numbers are oblivious of their malady, while others are in denial, as being stoic, stable and emotionally aware are always valued and held in high prestige. 

The crisis awareness of emotional numbness is eminent. Somebody in sentimental anaesthesia is no longer aware of any feeling, emotions or sentiments. Be it of his own or anyone involved, hence, dysfunctional coping mechanisms, depression, spiritual emptiness, inability to enjoy life, inability to form close and fulfilling relationships, disconnection from the inner self, confusion, irritability, fatigue, addictions, chronic illnesses, and somatic illnesses, inconsideration, insensitiveness, etc follows.

Being mindful of ourselves and ones around us is the key to reach out. 

Mentioned below are a few analytical ways in which one can be pinpointed.

  • Failure to express strong negative or positive emotions
  • Inability to “fully participate” in life (i.e. feeling like you’re a passive observer)
  • ‘Life is like a dream’ sense. (a feeling of unreality)
  • Living on autopilot.
  • Absence of interest in schemes, others find fun.
  • Feeling aloof from others.
  • An impulse to revoke from friends and family members.
  • Emotions are only felt in the body as sensations, but not by the mind
  • Animosity for people who show vivid emotions (both positive and negative)
  • Feeling numb in situations which should typically engender strong emotion
  • Panic attack when intense emotions eventually breakthrough.
  • Emptiness within.
  • Physical and mental insentience or blandness.

The extreme numbness may even influence the patient for suicidal attempts too.

Once we know the causes. Identify the silent bearers to recommend the ways to cure the silent disease.

As, the sentimental sedation is not permanent and so, the cure is available for both, long and short term. 

  • Identify the underlying reason for the numbness. 
  • See a psychiatrist. It is completely alright to visit a mental-health doctor. The old fashioned taboo of having a mental health issue is no more a dispute (at least in many countries and cultures). 
  • Talk to people who you feel closest to. People who make you feel connected, communicate and help yourself attain relief.
  • Exercise daily. Yoga, boxing, kick-boxing are great stress busters. However, a casual walk around the neighborhood also does wonders.  
  • Get ample sleep. Lack of sleep adds to the irritation and fatigue, hence, worsening the situation.
  • A well-balanced healthy diet is a must. It helps regulates and improves your mood.
  • Stress management. Minimize the stress and engage in stress-busting activities like meditation, prayers. Identify the stress enhancing factors and try to deal with them positively while getting rid of them eventually.
  • Determine emotions and articulate emotions. if you find this the hardest. do not delay in seeing a psychiatrist, let him tap your emotions for you and you can take it forward from there. 🙂

To the ones who are suffering from emotional numbness, you are not the only one. There are a lot more fighting the secret fight daily and maybe in the worst of situations. This sickness is momentary if crucial care is provided at once.

Have your say on emotional numbness in the comments below.