“But, I love him”, she cried, as her mom caressed her in her arms.
“Love is not enough, darling.” Mom consoled.
This made her sink deeper into her cradle.
Blink of an eye earlier, everything seemed to be as perfect as a fairy tale.
Then, what went wrong?? was the question.
All of the promises and sweet plans right from the wedding to the old age were pushed off a cliff with the first blow of his slap striking her cheek leaving marks, testifying her pain.
Every bash, every thrust untied the knots of hope bound by his weak promises.
A slight shift in his conduct swiftly changed on to his drastic leap in behavior.
With all this happening, she still assured herself with all the self-confirmation of love among the two and various non-existent reasons for staying. Yet, with every passing day, compromising demanded a piece of her self-respect, dignity, integrity and self-esteem.
To choose between love and self-love had become a walk on thin ice.
In the first option, she would lose herself, gaining just the presence of the other and while choosing the latter, she would gain herself back while her heart remains bleeding for the companionship.
Love had struck her hard before she could fall in love with herself failing her to realize her value and worth.
She never thought she would be in such a dilemma to choose between the two.
Not knowing the value of the latter, she chose the first. Destining herself to aggression and oppression the relationship had to offer.
Only if she knew how essential is realizing self-worth would save her so many of her tears and sleepless nights.
Simultaneously, making it impossible for him to walk over her, treating her like a doormat.
Every relationship, demands more than just love.
Love serves as a spark for the relationship to begin whereas, to keep the fire burning, it should be fueled by commitment, sincerity, respect, self-respect and the list goes on.
Love at one point does not play any role in keeping the souls together, it only happens when there is dedication, loyalty, respect, trust, honesty and dignity.
“The word “love” in the Qur’an appears on over 90 places but interestingly it doesn’t define the word ‘love’ but speaks about the very first consequence of love, commitment. If you truly love, then commit, if you do not commit then your claim of love is not real.” — Sheikh Yassir Fazaga.
- Commitment to each other’s trust and honesty.
- Promise to be considerate of physical and emotional needs.
- Commit to being loyal.
- Offer and demand a sense of belonging.
- Commit to being available when in need.
- Commit to each other’s flaws and perfections, embracing and respecting it.
- Committing to respect one’s personal space, ambition, dreams and desires.
The list goes on. Here, are just very few examples of commitment and what it seems like.
The kind of love mentioned above is usually found in fairy tales and novels. But, this does not mean that we end up where we aren’t happy.
I truly believe with commitment comes compromises from both the ends and no relationship is successful without it.
However, these compromises should be on grounds which does not pull you down in any way. Compromise only when it is acceptable to you depending on your priorities and not costing you your self-worth, dreams and dignity.
All said and done.
In the end, If you are not successful in ending up with the person you love always choose a person who loves you. This way, the love received mends and puts your broken pieces together, while being sure that you do not exploit the love you receive.
My first love at the age of 17. Lasted for 4.5 blissful years until we got engaged and his mom passed away. His father came into picture demanding for dowry and never-ending requirements.
My father decided to take a stand. Asked Z, if you love my daughter, then understand one thing, I refuse to pay you any extra penny from now on, only to hear in response, “Then I don’t see a point of this relationship. There’s no benefit for me in it”.
I was devastated, yet pleading and compelling about the past 4.5 years spent together for the next 4 months. No result came out of the pleading anyway.
However, Love is never enough.
Do let me know, do you agree with the post. If not, then why??