Category Archives: bloggingcommunity

This too shall pass!!

#CommunityChallenge Letter to present self.
10-day writing challenge at Blogging community.

Date: 24.3.2020
Dear Irut,
Subject: This too shall pass.

         Its been long since we spoke last. 
Hope you are doing good and enjoying late morning breakfasts and a rhythmic array of eat-sleep-repeat while you blog, design and shoot in your empty spaces. 
  However, I write this letter to you to tell you that I am so Proud of you. All the catastrophic episode which you have been starring in, have passed by without dimming your sparkle. Even this too shall pass. 
Focus on the tiny winks, clasp on them till it becomes a memory. 
Enjoy and strengthen your bonds with your family and get more closer to your creator.
 This too shall pass. Make every moment worth remembering and cherishing.
 Your brain cells have been working overtime these days to outgrow your nervousness. Major plunge in your funds, an inevitable dilemma, I can understand. But, darling, since when did monetary roller coasters start keeping you up at night. 
 You’re stronger than you think, you have been through a tougher time than this. And, this too shall pass. 
Build your faith stronger and focus on the good. Let tomorrow get its luggage and unveil it tomorrow. Go with the flow, love. 
As this too shall pass. 

Positivism and Motivational Department. 

Do let us know in the comment. how you feel about the letter to myself.

You want to write a letter to yourself and let others read, take part in the community challenge and be a part of the every growing blogging community on the link mentioned below.

“Reset Oh Foolish One”

The Sun rose like it did the day before. It was bright and sunny and so nothing changed. The night before the moon had stayed still in the sky. It was bright and was thankful for the sun casting its eye. But all had changed really and now it seemed too late.
            Let me cast my mind back to those times on the train, my head locked down with not a care in the world. Did someone look in my direction to exchange a pleasant glance.  Oh, how I now long to make eye contact again.
            Let me cast my mind back to those coffee shop occurrences with my head buried in my laptop. Did I take the time to maybe share a drink with a stranger,  ask them how they felt today. Oh, how I long for a chair in that coffee shop and make a new friend.
           Let me cast my mind back to the praising of celebs online while chastising our teachers and front line workers for pay rise demands. Did I not understand the real definition of a hero. Oh, how I long to shake and hug each and everyone of our front line workers now. Tell them what a brave and tremendous job they are doing to save us.
           Let me cast my mind back to the running around for kids thinking I was doing it all for them. Did I not stop to ask what they wanted. But now I do thank a powerful and protective force that a chance has been granted.
           I’d heard that when tyranny and obsession became our weapon of choice the powerful force would send someone,  something to reset the error of our ways. And so in my lifetime I reset. I spent my life consuming, taking, grabbing, clawing but now I must be creative, to give, to share, to once again be compassionate.
            When the dust settles, will we have learnt our lesson? Only the powerful force knows as our hearts are transparent in front of it. 

– Apinder Sahni (Potatosandwich)

Blogger | Writer | Author

Breathing space!!

The Covid-19 came as a bane to mankind, but, when it comes to the environment, Covid-19 has proven itself to be a boon.

Due to the lock down, Beijing was able to witness clear skies as factory cease operations, motorists halt, etc. Hence, rejuvenating the environment and reviving the air.

The drastic difference in the skies of Beijing, China, due to the lock down.

The lockdown blessed the city of Venice, with clear waters, swimming swans and visible fishes having a gala time in the lakes of the city. 

Mumbai, the tinsel town of India, also adds to the beneficiary list of the benefits, as the lockdown has vacated its very famous tourist spots such as the Juhu Beach, hence, giving it some open and pollution-free air. 

Moreover, Covid-19 leaves the tourism industry all over the world tarnished for a noticeable period now. 

Again, giving the sought after places a breathing space to revive and rejuvenate.

The Earth needed this break. The awareness of the necessary break has been passing on through various channels. 

Some times, it was through observing Earth Day on April 22 of every year, or it was reinforcing the World Water Day on March 22 every year. 

Moreover, there is a ‘Bike-to-Work’ day observed on every third Friday of May.

The list does not end there, 21 Sept is long announced as the ‘Zero Emission Day’.

Anyhow, the list goes on, to literally, including every single day of the year to make Earth greener and save its resources from being depleted. Without any noticeable change.

One day out of 365 days isn’t of much help, so, the lockdown on all sectors and activities have proven to be very advantageous for the environment.  

All said and done. What about after the lock down is over?

As China already releases a statement stating, after overcoming the plague, it will only focus on its economic recovery. 

Taking us back to ‘square one’, maybe even into negative square one (-1). 

To recover the losses and fall in the economy, it will have to speed up its processes, productions and trades. 

Does that mean it will double the negative effect on the environment as the factories might end up working overtime and emissions of carbons in the air will multiply? 

The tourism industry will leap, yet again bringing the environment at the edge of the cliff. 

This has to be taken as a wake-up call by every single soul. We must do our part in building the environment, pollution-free and greener than ever.

So, our homework is to practice these popular steps daily in which we can fulfill our responsibility towards the mother nature.

  • Not only saying ‘No’, but, also ensuring others to say ‘NO’ to plastic.
  • Not littering our vicinity and not allowing others to do the same.
  • Tag a friend along and plant as many trees.

Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, 

If the Hour (the Day of Resurrection) is about to be established and one of you was holding a palm shoot, let him take advantage of even one second before the Hour is established to plant it.” (Authenticated by Al-Albani)

  • Save water, save electricity.

Anas also reported that the Prophet said,

“If a Muslim plants a tree or sows seeds, and then a bird, or a person or an animal eats from it, it is regarded as a charitable gift (sadaqah) for him.” (Bukhari)

  • Use products which can be reused, recycled or degradable.
  • ‘Go Green’ by minimizing the consumption of paper. Unnecessary printing or paperwork should always be avoided.
  • Walk or let your bike take you to work twice a week. Hence, making less use of your car and cutting down on fuel consumption.

You can think of any other way to go green or save the environment or did I miss out on any, do let us know in the comment.

Hope, the officials do not get selfish in recovering from the losses and once again put the environment backstage leaving it to suffer the consequences.

We wish you a safe and greener, corona-free environment.

Do let us know, About your viewpoint on ‘after-the-lockdown’. 

Do you think this has given enough wake-up call to the authorities or things might just return to as they were? Why?

Aghaz-E-Aftaab آغاز-ی-آفتاب

ان کی اجلی ہوئی زندگی کو دیکھ کر ہم نے منہ موڑ لیا
یہ سوچ کے۔۔۔!

اجلا ہوا شخص ہمیں کیا سلجھے گا۔

Un Ki Uljeeh Hoi Zindagi Ko Dekh K Hum Ne Mu Mor Lia
Ya Soch K..!

Uljah Huwa Shakhs Hamain Kya Suljahy Gaa.

Writer Mr Moiz

دیکھا آنکھوں نے خط لکھا ہاتھوں نے پیر چل کے گئے خط دینے

جس نے دیکھا اس نے لکھا نہیں جس نے لکھا وہ گیا نہیں

اب جب چوٹ لگی دل پہ تو آنسو نکلے آنکھوں سے

DeKha AnKho Ne KhaAt Likha HaTo Ne Pair ChAl K Gay KhaAt DeNy..!

JiS Ne DeKhA UsNe LeKhA NaHi JiS Ne LiKhA Wo GaYa NaHi..!

Ab JaB ChOt LaGi Dil Pe ..! Tu AnSu NeKly AnKho Sy..*

Writer Mr_Moiz

اس بات کا دکھ نہیں کہ وہ کیوں چلے گئے!

دکھ تو اس بات کا ہے..!
اگر انہیں جانا ہی تھا تو وہ آئے کیوں.!

رائٹر معیز

Is Bat Ka Dukh Nahi K Wo Kyun Chaly Gay !

Dukh To Is Bat Ka Hai…!
Agar Unhe Jana He Tha To Wo Aay Kyun.!

Writer Mr_Moiz

تم سے محبت اس حد تک ہے
تم سے بچھڑے زمانے ہو گئے

عدالات میں مقدمہ-ی-مہبت آج بھی چل رہا ہے۔
رائیٹر معیز

Tum Say Muhabbat Is Had Tak Hai.
Tum Say Bechray Zamany Ho Gay.

Adalat Main Muqadma-e-Muhabbat Aj Bhi Chal Raha Hai.

Writer Mr_Moiz

لوگوں سے کیا گلا!
ہم سے تو بارش کی بھی دشمنی ہے!

تب تب برستی ہے !
جب جب دل أداس ہوتا ہے!

رائیٹر معیز

Logo Say Kia Gila!
Hum Say To Barish Ki Bhi Dushmani Hai !!

Tab Tab Barasti Hai
Jab Jab Dil Udas Hota Hai…!

Writer Mr_Moiz

مت کہو انہیں بے وفا!
وہ بے وفا نہیں!


محبت ھم کرتے ھیں!
وہ نہیں!

رائٹر معیز

Mat Kaho Unhe Bewafa!
Wo Bewafa Nahi!


Muhabbat Hum Karty Hain!
Wo nahi!

Writer Mr_Moiz

تم سے محبت اس حد تک ہے!

” کے”

اپنے ہی محفل میں اپنے ہی “رقیب” کو پہلی ہی صف میں بٹھا دیتے ہیں

رائٹر معیز

Tum Sy Muhabbat Is Had Tak Hai !


Apne He Mehfil Main Apne He Raqeeb Ko Pheli Hi Saf Main Betha Detain Hain.

Write Mr. Moiz

سر قلم کر دیا گیا بیچ سڑک میں۔

قتل-ی-محبت جو تھا
سازا تو ملنی ہی تھی۔

رائٹر معیز

Sir Kalam Kar Dia Gaya Beech Sadak Main

Qatal-E-Muhabbat Jo Tha Saza To Milne He Thin

Writer Mr.Moiz

Why all the PANIC!!

‘C’ for Coronavirus and ‘C’ for Caution. (Just to begin with.)
The horrid pandemic across the globe has affected its people at a massive scale. Everything seems to turn upside down. Everywhere there is a scare of confronting the virus.
Hand sanitizers and other sanitizing products, in no time, have become the superheroes by saving the day from the illness.
More than the sickness itself, the rumours from various mediums tend to enjoy more limelight of the reacting audience.
Similarly, the crushing down economy, nose-diving stock markets, plunging oil prices are among the many give-away gifts of the Corona Virus.
Death toll increasing at an alarming rate while many continue to get affected by it. However, the majority recover, while some are not able to.

A Corona-virus patient being treated in China with extreme precautions.

Anyhow, the virus is just a catalyst to bring many of us to our senses and give us a reality check.
Way before the virus took over. There were so many times we did not cherish the jobs we had. We always wanted to quit or criticised the work or were just lazy.
Our salaries spent mindlessly without having saved a penny.
Now, sitting at home in a locked-down city, makes me want to run back to my office and spend my day so much more resourcefully and with loads of gratitude to have a job.

Many out there have been isolated from their families for being a patient of the latter. How about if we end up in the same situation? Wouldn’t it make you weep in remembrance of your loved ones? Hence, cherish, love, express, communicate and enjoy each other’s company.

On the other hand, a scenario completely different and varied from the pandemic exists. The condition of cities affected not by the virus but by terrorism.
Lately, a thought came across my mind, urging me to add it in my article.
Coronavirus, it has affected the nations from the past three to four months for which every single soul is concerned and scared, irrespective of being in contact with it or not. Whereas, terrorism immaterial of religion, culture and ethical backgrounds have been destroying life throughout nations for years.
Uprooted of several lives from the act of inhumanity have been taking up space all over the media since quite a long time now. But, without any general action or outcry from the public as a whole or any aid from various countries to the affected areas.

Terrorism is so much worse than Covid-19,

A city struck by bombardments and left devastated

Terrorism gives you no time to react or seek any assistance.
Covid-19 gives you symptoms so you can seek help and recover from the sickness.

When under the attack of terrorism, uncertainty is the only feeling you are going through without much hope.
While under the attack of the virus, you still have hope to recover and for which, most cases do recover.

No bidding farewell to your loved ones when a victim of terrorism.
More likely to have a chance of seeing off your loved ones when being quarantined for the Virus.

One thing common about both is, it scares the hell out of anyone who hears of it or experiences any of it.
The death toll for both the plight does not seem to stop growing at the moment.

However, the condition for one will be under control in no time, while terrorism will continue to take lives and quench its thirst for many innocent lives.

Then why all the credit only to Corona for taking its toll on human lives.
Limelight credit goes to the media and the politicians without a second thought.

For Covid-19, an immense number of misleading articles have left the public disoriented without having the proper knowledge and education on the subject.
Even the highest of officials, celebrities are now a casualty of the sickness, yet again drawing more attention of the media and spreading the horror.

Proper care, precautions and measures are just what one needs to save and protect oneself from the illness.
To find the right kind of information and guidance on saving yourself from the virus, click here.

On the contrary, the audience to the virus gets distinguished by two simple statements.
a) “We have faith, whatever has to happen will happen.”
Such kind does not take any extra measures, continue their way of living the way it was and has no real intentions of changing it.

b) “It’s in our control, if we take measures, we will never get it.”
They are the ones responsible for vanishing sanitary products across the markets. 😛

A beautiful hadith on Reliance: (Having faith yet taking precautionary measures.)

Anas ibn Malik reported: A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, should I tie my camel and trust in Allah, or should I leave her untied and trust in Allah?” The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Tie her and trust in Allah.

Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2517

Take measures, but, have faith.
Be mindful of the situation, but, do not let it overrule you.
Stay clean, hygienic but, do not be a case of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

Wish you all a Covid-19 free along with a safe and secure environment.

Share your views about the article in the comments below.

In Pieces!! – (Guest Post)

   It should not have taken me by such surprise but it did. For months my husband said he loved me, loved being a family man, loved being a dad to Spook. He bought me things. Then one day after months of telling me I was fine and didn’t need my meds because all my issues were just my bad personality…He called from work at 6 p.m. and said he’d see us after work. Three hours later, he called, mumbled into the phone, “I can’t do this anymore,” and he hung up. No doubt smashing his phone as he’d done before when he was ‘done’ with a woman. I was flabbergasted. I kept calling his cell and it went to voice mail.
    I tore into the bedroom and sure enough, all his clothes and computer were gone. Still not sure when or how he pulled that off since we had one car and he had no license so I wouldn’t let  him use it, but I was in a bad mental space. He could have sprouted two heads and I likely wouldn’t have noticed.  I’d begged him for weeks to make a call and get me into a psych doc because by that time, I was petrified to talk to other people. He always said he forgot, he’d do it tomorrow. He never did then had the nerve to say I drove him away by not being on my meds. After saying I didn’t need them, I just had personality disorders. This man everyone else found so charming and upstanding was in fact a pathological liar.

    I immediately took Spook to my mom’s and took myself to the ER. I was going to get medicated and referred to a psych doc and I was gonna get in my right mind because now I was a single mom with a 2 year old to raise on my small disability income. 3/4 of which was rent. I was in a panic but once I got some Xanax on board, I calmed down. I was still confused why he handled it like a teenage boy breaking up with a girlfriend. We were married, we had a child together, and ending things with a cryptic call after just 3 hours earlier tell me how much he loved me. I do not think even baffled is a strong enough word to describe how I was feeling for the next week or two.
     Once medicated properly again with a reliable doctor,  was when the gravity and reality of the sudden single motherhood finally hit me. This 2 year old little girl, confused that ‘da-da’ was suddenly not around, was counting on me. For everything. When some days with my mental health issues, it was all I could do to get myself out of bed and dressed. I did my very best, though, to keep a smile on my face and keep her routine normal as possible. If tears threatened, I’d step out of her view or into the bathroom, not wishing to add to her confusion of why mommy was so sad and scared. And I was terrified. The man left us with a power bill about to be disconnected, no food in the fridge, and Spook with no diapers. I had no way to bring in more money to get this stuff and many a night I stayed awake, stomach churning with anxiety, and cursing the day I allowed the donor to lie his way into my life.
    But everything happens for a reason and without him, I would not have my beautiful daughter so I regret nothing.
   I can’t however, forget anything, either. My own fear, my feelings of inadequacy, worrying if I was going to pass on my mental issues and ruin my child. Year after year, it became harder and more of a crippling fear. I admit there were times I basically zombie shambled through each day, making sure even if I hadn’t eaten or bathed in days, Spook’s needs were always met. The power of my love for my child gave me the strength to keep going, even when every fiber of my depressed being told me she’d be better off without me dragging her down. There were times when she would scream and hit me and break things and I’d call hotlines because I felt I needed help and yet…They didn’t see it as a problem other than a lack of consistent discipline on my part so I had to take on that added guilt and blow to my self esteem.
    There were times I almost wished her father would reappear and ask for visitation so I wouldn’t feel so crushed under the weight of it all by myself. I admit that with zero pride but I was overwhelmed and scared and…a train-wreck.

He’s been gone 9 years. He’s not asked to see our child. He moves and changes jobs and girlfriends every couple of  months. He tells people I won’t let him see her. 9 years with limited resources financially and mentally, I have raised this child alone. Doctor appointments, school, homework, school events, constant playdates at our house to the point I thought I’d have a nervous breakdown. The tantrums and her hitting me. The screaming. The ADHD. I am still here because I am her mom and I love her.
   To use something irutarts said to me, “He left in peace and left you in pieces.”
   That he did. But I picked up those pieces and I put myself back together best I could.
   The point everyone seems to miss is that this was never about him or me being jerks to each other. It’s about a little girl who asked for none of this and his abandonment and shunning of her is unforgivable. When she asks me why other kids have dads and she doesn’t…I just have to tell her  that her father and I couldn’t get along and he’s left his other kids, too, so it’s not your fault, Baby.
    He left her in pieces that will probably remain shattered into her adulthood and that is the true heartbreak of this failed relationship.
   The one thing she can say though is that she didn’t have a loving devoted mom who made sacrifices she she didn’t have to do without. Maybe she lost the two parent lottery, but she will always have me and I hope one day that means something to her. Maybe one day she will focus not on my failures but all of the things I did right.

This amazing post has been written by Niki Noir, writer and creator of

Visit her blog for more interesting issues on mental health issues.

For the love of WHITE!!

Today’s post for Panache LeGlittercut is dedicated to the colour white.
White is the colour resembling, peace, elegance, simplicity and beauty in its unique form.
Any party or any evening outfit is beautified when it is done with white.
Keeping white as the base and having a variety of colours to play with it, gives an added edge to be creative and more scope of mix and match.
Creativity is when with the given limited resources and look beyond your best.
In this post, we take a look at the white party gowns with multicolored details to it.


An ethnic gown, best for parties, weddings and get-together.

White gown with red and green floral embroidery overall .

The dress is paired with a red scarf to pair with the red details in the embroidery.


White accessories compliments the complete look.

White large rings along with a white clutch of gold and diamond beads go well with the outfit.


When wearing red, to enhance the look, bold eyeliner with a red lipstick goes perfectly well.


A white frilly multi layered gown of maroon intricate thread work is perfect for dates, weddings and evenings. the gown is elegant and has a fairy like feel to it.

The gown is paired with maroon hijab and a maroon inner t-shirt.

The belt at the waist is of a bag. (As I did not have a belt. :-P)

There can be more ways in which these gowns can be paired and thats the beauty of white, you can play with it as per your mood and how you feel.

The above outfits are just an example of how I did it.

Do let me know how you liked the idea and the outfits. Comment below, even if you feel I could have done it much better.

Is Love Enough??

“But, I love him”, she cried, as her mom caressed her in her arms.

“Love is not enough, darling.” Mom consoled. 

This made her sink deeper into her cradle.

Blink of an eye earlier, everything seemed to be as perfect as a fairy tale. 

Then, what went wrong?? was the question. 

All of the promises and sweet plans right from the wedding to the old age were pushed off a cliff with the first blow of his slap striking her cheek leaving marks, testifying her pain. 

Every bash, every thrust untied the knots of hope bound by his weak promises. 

A slight shift in his conduct swiftly changed on to his drastic leap in behavior. 

With all this happening, she still assured herself with all the self-confirmation of love among the two and various non-existent reasons for staying. Yet, with every passing day, compromising demanded a piece of her self-respect, dignity, integrity and self-esteem.

To choose between love and self-love had become a walk on thin ice. 

In the first option, she would lose herself, gaining just the presence of the other and while choosing the latter, she would gain herself back while her heart remains bleeding for the companionship.

Love had struck her hard before she could fall in love with herself failing her to realize her value and worth. 

She never thought she would be in such a dilemma to choose between the two. 

Not knowing the value of the latter, she chose the first. Destining herself to aggression and oppression the relationship had to offer.

Only if she knew how essential is realizing self-worth would save her so many of her tears and sleepless nights.

Simultaneously, making it impossible for him to walk over her, treating her like a doormat.

Every relationship, demands more than just love. 

Love serves as a spark for the relationship to begin whereas, to keep the fire burning, it should be fueled by commitment, sincerity, respect, self-respect and the list goes on.

Love at one point does not play any role in keeping the souls together, it only happens when there is dedication, loyalty, respect, trust, honesty and dignity. 

“The word “love” in the Qur’an appears on over 90 places but interestingly it doesn’t define the word ‘love’ but speaks about the very first consequence of love, commitment. If you truly love, then commit, if you do not commit then your claim of love is not real.” — Sheikh Yassir Fazaga.

  • Commitment to each other’s trust and honesty.
  • Promise to be considerate of physical and emotional needs.
  • Commit to being loyal.
  • Offer and demand a sense of belonging.
  • Commit to being available when in need.
  • Commit to each other’s flaws and perfections, embracing and respecting it.
  • Committing to respect one’s personal space, ambition, dreams and desires.

The list goes on. Here, are just very few examples of commitment and what it seems like. 

The kind of love mentioned above is usually found in fairy tales and novels. But, this does not mean that we end up where we aren’t happy. 

I truly believe with commitment comes compromises from both the ends and no relationship is successful without it.

However, these compromises should be on grounds which does not pull you down in any way. Compromise only when it is acceptable to you depending on your priorities and not costing you your self-worth, dreams and dignity.

All said and done.

In the end, If you are not successful in ending up with the person you love always choose a person who loves you. This way, the love received mends and puts your broken pieces together, while being sure that you do not exploit the love you receive. 


My first love at the age of 17. Lasted for 4.5 blissful years until we got engaged and his mom passed away. His father came into picture demanding for dowry and never-ending requirements.

My father decided to take a stand. Asked Z, if you love my daughter, then understand one thing, I refuse to pay you any extra penny from now on, only to hear in response, “Then I don’t see a point of this relationship. There’s no benefit for me in it”. 

I was devastated, yet pleading and compelling about the past 4.5 years spent together for the next 4 months. No result came out of the pleading anyway.

However, Love is never enough.

Do let me know, do you agree with the post. If not, then why??

Our bundle of joy!!

I have had this experience before as well, but every single time I get so excited as if its the first time I am seeing something of this kind. And this time, I want to share it with my readers.

My fish bowl, 8 active members taking up the space has just welcomed its new members born may be 2 days earlier. I happened to notice it just a few hours back. There are two tiny tots in the very minimalist bowl for my mollies.

Molly happen to be a very productive kind for an aquarium. Its favorite is the regular tap water with a pinch of salt added to spice up things in there.

Mollies are hard water fishes and are not so fragile like the other aquarium soft water fishes like the gold fish, angelfish etc.

The soft water fishes seem to be very sensitive and fragile and might immediately give up on life if there’s a slightest change in the water temperature, water level or the PH level of the water. Whereas, the hard water fish like Molly, are strong than the latter. They are fertile and do not ask for over time attention by regular checks and filtration.

Watch the video to see our little Mollies in action.

So, if your working and yet you want to keep an aquarium, which is a great source of attracting positive energy to your room or apartment, you should go for fish breed like Molly and Guppies or any other hard water fish.

Why hard water fishes, when you have a very busy schedule….

1) They do not require an oxygen pump as the bowl is having no lid.

2) Need changing of water only once a week. Could easily be managed over the weekend.

3) Thorough cleaning of the bowl is needed fortnightly.

4) Highly fertile. Overwhelming to see new tots when back home from a stressful day.

5) Male and female can easily be identified. So, while purchasing its a sure shot you have got both.

6) Highly cost effective, low maintenance.

7) Needs feeding once a day, just a pinch full at the same time every day.

8) Friendly, once they know your around will gather around your finger from the other side of the glass.

9) No requirement of a dedicated filter to be installed.

10) Available in various colors and sizes. A must have for adding charm to your amazing decor.

Hope you enjoyed this random post.

If I missed out on any point, or even if you disagree with any of the tips.

Most importantly, can you all please suggest me two really cute names for them. I love to name my fishes..

Let me know down in the comments. Love to hear from you always.