The key mechanism of any relationship lies in ‘a little give, a little take’.
Parent-child bond, bonds through marriage or a professional tie, all are signified while accomplishing the potential only by two-way traffic, ‘A little give, A little take’.
A time bomb named as ‘relationship’ comprising cogs, namely, ‘providing and receiving’ operate in absolute sync consuming essential components like love, loyalty, trust, respect, communication, etc as the lubricant to avoid friction. If at all, any imbalance in the two cogs occurs, the mishap generally is followed by the glitch in the time bomb emanating catastrophes.
21st-century bondings have no common grounds with the ties and bonds shared back in the olden days. Families, friends and acquaintances stuck together for ages, then.
Presently, any family connection or social affiliation easily associated to a time bomb, reason being, lack in the balance of giving and taking. Either, it is excess giving & no taking or, excess taking & no giving, in any case, bringing the connection ties’ survival rate to nearly zero.
The shift in priorities has led to poignant consequences, lately. Willingness to compromise bearing in mind the well-being of the bond or the greater good coming with it has been engulfed in the love of mere commodity and rank.
An integral part of a bond is to compromise.
However, to compromise is traditionally mistaken for acquiescing consumption of ourselves. Or, when the committed party is overly consumed ensued by his dedication, loyalty, love and priority.
To gain benefits, giving up on a few is enforced. It is nearly impossible to have all that is desired by one. Which raises the question of, what to compromise on and for what to strive?
Individual choices, mindsets, desires, tradition, qualification, upbringing and circumstances execute the decision of what to compromise.
Overlooking education for a blissful happily ever after is preferable for some, while sweeping the idea of marriage under the carpet for a successful career might be more convenient for some. Quitting a job for taking care of the households may be the idea of compromising for many, while compelled signup as a breadwinner of the house become the compromise for some.
The complication has never been ‘the compromise’, but, what is being compromised and how much is being compromised.
The exploitation of a compromising person excels in assorted setbacks.
The mishap may be distinct, right from mental breakdowns to breakups, from disloyalty to deception, from animosity to resentment, and many more such ill-consequences.
What not to compromise:
As we all are compelled to make a compromise, what to compromise on is always in our control. Like things which should never be compromised are your ideas, goals, faith and belief, values, self-respect, dignity, happiness, individuality, integrity and self-worth along with any other facet of life you cannot imagine giving upon. For example: For me, it is my son. Compromising on being with him to get into new ties, is an inconceivable notion for me.
So, before compromising, be sure of not compromising on the checklist provided above along with the aspect most dear and close to you and your heart.
How much to compromise:
While compromising, be upfront in drawing a line on how much is more and beyond the limit. No matter whoever we are with, the more we let ourselves be consumed, the more we get consumed, there is no upper limit set unless we set it ourselves.
Serve on middle grounds until you’re at the receiving end as well. If only you’re the one providing, there might be an unpleasant finish.
For whom to compromise:
- Who feels just right. Trust your instincts.
- Who knows your capability and capacity to give and wouldn’t ask for beyond.
- The one equally providing and bringing his input into the ties, making the bonds stronger.
- Who acknowledges your effort and recognises your intentions even if the result turns out as unexpected.
- The one who wouldn’t exploit your resources of varied nature in any manner.
- Your parents without any conditions. The fact, they bring you into this world equate all your compromises.
For whom to not-compromise:
- The one who never acknowledges your greatest efforts.
- For the one, who never have it enough.
- The ones who step into the bond empty-handed.
- The one gauges your emotions, feelings through your compromise and degree of submission.
- For the one who would perpetually demand more.
- The one who will stipulate the flow of the relationship based on your compromises and efforts.
- Anyone who deliberately demands a compromise on your reverence and value.
Lastly, after a certain point, there should be no scope of regret left. Compromise enough for the ones worth it while keeping your values, dignity and all the above intact, hence, keeping no room for remorse.
Is there anything you would want to add on any of the areas covered in the post? Do let us know in the comments below.